Navigating your child's struggle with addiction is an incredibly challenging journey for any mother. At Brick House Recovery, we understand this struggle firsthand. Learn from another mother’s experience in this excerpt from Unhooked, written by our founder, Jason Coombs. Discover how his mother grappled with accepting his addiction and started on a path to healing for him and their entire family.

Her Story

“My son has an addiction. Thankfully, Jason is in recovery now. Drugs and alcohol have never been a part of my life. I didn’t know that someone so close to me, my own child, could have a secret life—one that I knew nothing about. I was blindsided.

Jason was a healthy and happy boy. Our family was close; we were fairly normal. Jason graduated high school, went on a mission, married a lovely woman, and graduated college. He seemed to be on the path to a happy, successful, fulfilling life.

Then the other shoe dropped. The bomb fell.

I remember the shame in his eyes when Jason told us about his addiction. My mind insisted this couldn’t be true, that my son knew better. When Jason started to tell us about the private life he was leading, my life changed forever. From that night forward, I began to learn about the other life he led, one full of secrets and facades. I wasn’t ready to admit that my son was addicted to drugs, but as time went on, I was slapped with the reality of it again and again. Our family began to feel the pain and sorrow of this disease—Jason became even sicker.

I thought I knew I could help my son, that if he stayed on the path my husband and I provided for him, he would get through this. We tried to control aspects of his life, thinking we were helping by shielding him from the negative effects of his behavior. When that didn’t work, there was shame for all of us, watching my son constantly promise he was going to do better all the while knowing these promises were empty. I felt powerless over this disease; no matter what we did for him, we couldn’t stop his addiction.

When Jason went to a court-ordered treatment facility, a counselor in their family class gave me some powerful advice: “You and your husband have worked hard. You created a good life together. You deserve to continue to have a life and not let his addiction take it away from you.” But how could we not take care of our son as his parents?

We gave Jason one last chance to enter a 180-day treatment program. During this program, they asked us to enter an intensive family program, where I learned firsthand that the best thing I could do for my son was start on my own healing journey.”

My Advice for Mothers

Don’t Be Afraid of the Disease of Addiction.
It’s frightening, but denying it is more dangerous than the disease itself. Acknowledge it, and it will help you see the truth and reality in your own mind.

Realize Your Addicted Loved One Thinks Their Drug is Their Oxygen.
Don’t overreact by shaming them for breathing oxygen. For them, it has become a need, not a want. It’s a matter of life and death. Acknowledge that and move on to the next step.

Don’t Let Your Fear Overrule Your Better Judgment.
Your addicted loved one will come with tears, anger, and feelings of abandonment, but remember that they have created these feelings through addiction. Do not rescue them. Let them struggle. They will progress through the stages of change quicker when you get out of the way.

Walk the Path with Them While You Do Your Own Work.
You will develop closeness that will amaze you, and you will develop much-needed inner strength. Learn to rely on a Higher Power that will give you what you need when you need it.

Never Give Up.
Give up helping, but never give up on the love you have for your addicted loved one. Never forget the person that lies beneath the shackles of the disease, and let it give you hope for the long-term. Miracles do happen.

Read more of her and Jason’s story in Unhooked Buy Now

Check out A Mother's Hope | Unhooked: How to Help an Addicted Loved One Recover Watch Now

At Brick House Recovery, we understand that the journey of supporting a loved one through addiction is fraught with challenges. You are not alone. If you or someone you know is struggling with addiction, reach out to us. Together, we can navigate this journey and find a path to healing.