Video Transcript: (00:00)
So my name is Breanna, I am Jeff Crabtree’s wife. I could never identify myself, I just went with the flow of what life was like, just waking up every day, going with the motions. Previously, he had tried to quit once or twice, he’d gone to AA, he’s got a sponsor, you know, waves of trying to get better. Through that journey, we struggled with a lot of family members, Both of our family members have addictive personalities. Through this, we just made it work. I knew I wasn’t happy, but like I said, I was trying to change him. I believe these were stepping stones to my journey of where I am today. Like I said, I thought I could change him, I thought my life would be different with children, in a new atmosphere, and the sad part about that is… It wasn’t.

(00:59)
Speaker 1: (00:59)
I just felt so lost, I didn’t have hope, and I didn’t imagine my life to be the way that it turned out to be. I just lived in fear, and worry, and stress, and discomfort. Just so many emotions, I lived there for many years, and I hibernated, and I hid, and I just continually tried to soul search, through churches or other people. I was always trying to find happiness from other things. I really just didn’t believe it. I was just numb. And, and at this point, I felt as though we were so stuck in the darkness of alcoholism. But we know deep down inside that there’s a beautiful person inside there. Five years later, my husband finally had his breaking moment. It was probably one of the hardest times of our life. He wants to make a change. Well, they had called programs around Idaho and this facility came up as one of them.

(2:07)
And my husband, he was working on his 12 steps, he was going to his meetings, he was doing what he was supposed to be doing. And it sparked in me, what do I do? You know, I never thought I had a problem, I’ve always thought he’s the problem, this is why we are where we are. Because I’ve always been so focused on we need to get him help, we need to make him better. But then I needed that just as well. It was kind of a breaking point in myself of what do I need to do? So I had heard about the family group here. When I walked in, that night I just felt a sense of relief of, wow, like I’m surrounded with people that are going through the same things I am going through.

(2:55)
I just found myself finding peace, and finding hope, and hope was something that I didn’t even believe you could find. Three years later my husband’s still sober. And the funny thing is, is you think, Oh, everything’s good. Right? But, every day is a work in progress. I still, you know, I have character defects, but my favorite part in this whole journey is that I get to recognize my part, and what I’m doing with finding my identity and who I am as a person, what I love, and finding my own happiness in myself. Coming definitely helped me recognize, okay, he learned this. I learned that. Let’s apply it. I have more peace, I stand a little taller. You know, surrounding yourself with people who just lift you up and knowing that no matter what you’re doing, you’re doing a great job.